Lil' Viking’s Neighborhood

I am up earlier than usual.  It’s raining......but  for some reason it’s not at all dreary.  I’m listening to favorite music which always makes what is happening around me brighter.  I just RSVP’d  an invitation to a 2-yr old’s birthday this coming weekend, I emailed a friend to say “Hi” and fill her in on what I have been up to this weekend and, in between, I’ve been throwing Honey’s “woobie” that she has been bringing to me over and over again......seems like every 2 minutes (smile).  She is constant motion and when she puts something in my lap and then sits and begs I can’t help but melt and play with her, no matter what I am doing. 

Please, p-l-e-a-s-e throw the ball for me!

She has a knack for knowing exactly where my attention is and she puts whatever she is playing with right there.....my lap, in the middle of what I’m writing, whatever.   I usually put my handbag on the floor by my chair at the dining room table and I can’t even begin to count the times when I have been out and opened it to find her tennis ball(s), her stuffed critters and/or her plastic Jello cups.  It always makes me smile.

Christmas has come and gone.  I really should not have said it that way because we have never limited holidays, birthdays, anniversaries or other special occasions to any one day or series of dates on the calendar.  It seems like it was only yesterday that I decorated for Christmas and then this past weekend I began to put things in boxes that will go back to the garage.  I decided to leave the lighted garland on the mantle so I can enjoy it a little while longer.

Over the last several months, I had every intention of having cards written and mailed, packages wrapped and mailed and have a couple of get-togethers with some long-time friends I once worked with.  As the holiday season loomed, I shut down at times and I haven’t been pleased with myself for having done so.  I’m thankful that I don’t feel that way all the time.  The emptiness is always there.  The shutting down comes and goes.  It’s not good and I’m trying to stop beating myself up when it happens. I’ve never been one to succumb to feeling sorry for myself and I sure as heck don’t want to begin now.

What I have just said may sound like I hibernated over the holidays.  I really didn’t.  I spent time with caring friends......Thanksgiving with S & N’s family, Christmas Eve with J’s family and Christmas and New Year’s day with S’s family.  I am blessed to have a wonderful support system of family and friends.  The operative word is “support”....I don’t need, or want, anybody "to do"  for me.  Just knowing that folks care is what has helped me to keep going.

Despite feeling “down” at times, I did manage to shop for a 13-year-old middle school girl.  A friend’s office receives names of needy students each year and I have participated in this program for the last several years.

Also, a month or so ago I received an email that suggested writing to recuperating military people at Walter Reed Medical Center.  No matter how we might feel about this war/military action, it is vitally important to let our military personal know that we appreciate the sacrifices they and their families are making in order to keep us safe.  The hospital is never a good place to be, but this is particularly so during the holidays.  I wrote my letter, made copies and on the day I planned to mail them, I got the disappointing news that Walter Reed was not accepting such letters and cards because of security concerns.  A day or two later, I was happy to find that the Red Cross was collaborating with some other folks to deliver mail, so my letters were delivered after all.

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I just posted a couple of the photos I made on Christmas Eve; the fire looked and smelled heavenly.  It has been hard for me to do some of the things that have been tradition with us.  This year, I was finally able to have some semblance of what has meant so much to us.  I know that Dick would want me to continue doing the things we have always set aside for just us.  Along this line, I also have listened often to the CD that I made from Dick’s cassette of our favorite Christmas record.   We have played it, played it and played it, so over the years we have worn out two or three of the original vinyl records.   It is nice to have CD’s now.

I had an experience that I thought I would pass it on since it could keep others from having the same problem.  I guess it could be considered my “Girl Scout deed for the day” (smile) 

I was driving on Stone Drive the other day and came upon a Highway Patrolman who had stopped someone for some reason and they had both pulled off to the side of the road.  I was approaching in the slow (right) lane.  In a situation like this I have always recognized the danger of someone walking out into my path – so I reduce my speed and am very mindful of the possibility of horror.  As I got closer, the Patrolman looked up from his paperwork and saw me approaching.  He began waving and motioned me with an angry look into the fast (right) lane.  I did the best I could to do what he was indicating as fast as I could, but I was abreast of him when I finally had the chance to change lanes. I’ll bet anybody reading this knows what happened next!!!!  I continued toward town and within minutes there were flashing lights behind me and the same Patrolman motioned that I needed to pull over.  When I reached a safe place to stop, I pulled off to the shoulder.  The next thing I knew, he was giving me a royal tongue lashing and told me that in a situation like that I should have gone into the farthest lane (left) as I approached the scene of a traffic stop. I told him that I didn’t know this.  In all the years I’ve been driving, I never have gotten even a parking ticket, much less been pulled over on the highway......and I told him so.  He seemed to have an ego problem and continued to belabor the legal and safety aspects of what he was saying. I weathered the storm of words and attitude and told him over and over that I certainly realized what he was saying, but that I had always felt that what I did in these situations was what should be done for the safety of everyone concerned.  I apologized profusely and told him that I would certainly do what he was saying from then on. He let me off with a warning rather than giving me a ticket.  Whewwwww!  When the ordeal was over and I was released to go where I had been headed, I was tempted to sit right there until I caught my breath and then head right back home.  Instead, I pulled myself together and continued on toward town.  Needless to say, I was VERY aware of everyone on the road with me because I just knew that the guy with the attitude had me in his sights to catch me doing something else so that he could give me a ticket.  I made it to town and was “venting” to a friend about my earlier misfortune. I told him that I was absolutely terrified as all this was happening and even though it had happened a couple of hours before I was still shook up.  When I finished my tale he told me that he had had a similar experience several weeks before......... and wasn’t as lucky as I was.  He got a $100 ticket!!

Other folks might already be aware of this; but, just in case, I thought I’d pass on this experience. Since then, I checked and found that it actually is a law in Tennessee.  Since my situation, I have heard of many cases of folks who have had tickets for this, so I guess I am not alone in my having missed this new law.

I hope this posting will keep somebody else out of trouble!

After listening to the program today,  I realized that this also applies to times of “grief” resulting from other kinds of losses!  The person who was being interviewed had had a devastating house fire and lost most everything that was near and dear to her.  She and her husband were away from home for a few days and found themselves watching their home burn to the ground on a television news broadcast.  When they returned home they found that they had lost their house and all it’s contents.   It was a total loss; nothing could be salvaged!  I thought to myself that the gal was much more positive than I would probably have  been.  Although, as I think about it, we never know the strength we have until we come face-to-face with whatever hardships come our way.

As for what I wrote several weeks ago about the importance of supporting those who have had a misfortune,  the person being interviewed said several times how very comforting it was to her to receive calls and notes from friends and family.  She even heard from folks she didn’t know very well who expressed  concern and empathy for what she was going through.

Nobody can take away the hurt caused by a misfortune, but it does help some that others understand and care enough to let us know.....in some way...... that they do!

It's another steamy, oppressively hot day here.  The only place to be is in the air conditioning.  Honey decided to be at my heels when I went to the garage a little while ago.  She visited several places in the yard to "read the canine newspaper" so she would know who of her fuzzy, four-footed friends had paid us a visit while we were in the house.  She was only out for 10 or so minutes, but when we came back in, I wasn't too surprised to find that she was more than toasty warm.  Even with being in the shade she was burning up.  Having a fur coat can be a bummer at times!  

The only upside to our weather is that it has afforded me the opportunity (without feeling guilty because of yard and garage projects) to go through albums and scrapbooks, my past journal entries, I've downloaded photos to my flickr site, and I just finished posting baby pictures of our oldest nephew.  He now has a special gal by his side, a two-year-old little gal and a precious new baby boy.  It blows my mind to say that because it seems like only yesterday that he was a tiny baby himself.  He and his wife post pictures on their site and they encouraged me to do the same.  I am so glad I’m doing it because I have "met" a number of talented folks who are very much into photography and are willing to share ideas as well as photos.  S and  R are both talented photogs and it has been so neat to be able to see their little ones grow day-by-day through their camera lenses! 

I have been listening to our favorite music that, as I have said before, I SOMEHOW was able to download into my laptop.  Wonders will never cease!  My next experimentation will be to add some special music to my site.  The music and all the things I am going through now have brought back many good memories. 

I’m doing my best to keep up with my journal.  My life, at this point, is not so earth-shattering that I feel a desperate need to record it........but I know, from past experience, that “stepping back” will help me to know myself better and my journal entries will enable me me to do that.

As I wrote to a friend some time ago when we were talking about journaling:

".......We are made up of all our, what most people think of as trivial, commonplace activities, feelings and thoughts.  Dick and I have always found that written accounts as we live life day-by-day create special memories; and, what is even more meaningful and important, help us to know ourselves better.  I have always kept a journal and looking back, it sometimes seems that I'm reading what someone else has written and it's a very strange feeling.  I learn things about myself that I have missed because it is so hard to be introspective while taking care of the many daily little things necessary for survival.  I guess while we are going about the business of living, each moment is framented and it's not possible to see the whole picture of what is actually happening at any given moment......it's necessary to step back in order to put all the parts together.  We have found that our writings help us to step back......"

I don't mean this to sound like I'm feeling "down" because I don’t feel that way all the time, it's just that I'm at a stage in my life where it's important for me to discover who I am....once again....in a world where Dick is not physically by my side like he has always been.  I was so young and naive when we first met.  Looking back, I'm realizing that "he raised me" (smile).  I can hardly remember the time in my life when he hasn’t been with me..........as my safety net just in case I made a misstep.  I’m smiling now as I think back to when folks would be surprised at how long we had been married.  Dick always got a twinkle in his eye and told whoever it was that...”HE was a child bride!” (smile).  Another special memory is that he was my “technical advisor” on the zillions of craft projects I have been into over the years.  He was very creative as evidenced by his many patents.  He always encouraged me to be creative, to be independent and to strike out on my own to accomplish the things that mean the most to me.  Even though he helped me to be strong enough to be my own person, it was comforting to know that he was always there.  I miss him terribly.....and not just because he made me feel comfortable and safe.....but, because as a little friend once described him, he was my (6-ft, 4-in with a size 14E shoe)........"gentle giant." 

After going back over this entry, I’m having second thoughts about posting it since reading it will probably be boring for others.  If I do decide to post it.....and it is found to be boring.....I apologize.........

The temperatures and humidity all along the East Coast continue to be right at the 100-degree mark.  The heat index here is now 103-degrees.  Atlanta registered a heat index of 108-degrees.....2 degrees short of an all time record!  Fayetteville, NC is reporting 103-degrees, and further West, Ohio and surrounding states are bracing themselves for tornados, heavy rain and strong winds, Oklahoma is registering 107-degrees, Kansas City has a heat index of 108-degrees and on....and on.....and on.  There were 48 record highs across the country!  It seems that we are not the only ones having problems; other areas around the world are also dealing with unsettled conditions. 

Yesterday, the weather played havoc in our old "stomping grounds" in New York.  A tornado touched down in one of the boroughs and uprooted trees, downed power lines and caused the awful damage associated with a really violent storm.   Also, 3-inches of rain fell within the space of two hours and caused flooding in the subway.  The subway system came to a standstill and shuttle buses were pressed into service to help get stranded people where they needed to go.  The bad news now is that New York is in for still a-n-o-t-h-e-r  bad storm some time tomorrow morning. 

Our local paper has had detailed articles about heat stroke and steps needed to avoid serious health problems, how to make sure that our pets are safeguarded,  how important it is to be mindful of the need to conserve energy by keeping home thermosats at least at 73-degrees and how important it is, especially for older folks, to stay out of  the oppressive heat if at all possible.

I heard a report of someone using his tire iron to break out a car window in order to rescue a pup that had been left locked in the car by its owner; an act that, in my opinion, should be cause for jail time.....or even w-o-r-s-e !!  You would think after all the warnings we get, that ALL pet owners would realize that the temperature can reach 120-degrees in minutes......even with the windows cracked.  Honey loves to ride in the car in her car seat and it breaks my heart to do it, because she looks so disappointed, but I leave her at home on hot days even if I know I will just pop in and out of store while we are out.   It is also being reported that wildlife is encroaching on our space in order to survive and some areas are having fish die because of lack of oxygen in the water.

It’s sad that there doesn’t seem to be an end to all this any time soon.  They are saying that it could last another week or so!    Ugghhhhhhh!!!                  

.Last night, the thunder and heavy rain woke me up in the wee hours and that’s really unusual because when I sleep I’m totally out it.   The good thing is that I haven’t had to water our new plantings for the last couple of days.  The first day or two, I used so much water that I will probably owe my soul to the Water Department next month!! (frown)  I talked with the landscaper and made arrangements for an irrigation sytem to be installed in the next h or so.  Life should be easier for me then and I’m sure the plants will be happy to get regular watering.  Dick planned to do this a number of years ago, but it seems I am only now getting around to it.

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This photo is one I made a couple of weeks ago during a particularly violent thunderstorm.   I posted it on my flickr site.  It's one of many such storms we have had over the last couple of months.  As I said in an earlier blog entry, it always amazes me how Mother Nature often makes a potentially devestating happening be unusally beautiful at the same time.....dark, ominous clouds, high winds that made our willows blow straight out sideways, an eery golden and pink glow.  The lighting during each stage......as the storm first approached, as it got worse and worse.....as it was winding down....and all the way into the calm after the storm.....is hard to describe. I lucked out and was able to capture it.   It was surreal!

As I think back to that day, I'm reminded that being out in the open with lightning is not a bright thing to do, but having "photo fever," I couldn't help myself. 

I’ve waited for several weeks.....I was up early each day thinking that they would make an appearance.  Noooot!  We have dealt with Chris in past years and because of  knowing the good job they do I fussed, but not  t-o-o  much, because he is in such demand that the delay was really unavoidable.  He came this week and he was a welcome sight.....I came close to hugging him.   The beds around the house were in bad need of “cleaning up,” edging and fertilizing. Then came the new plants.  His folks worked for almost three days and I couldn’t be happier with the result.  A number of neighbors have said how nice things look and I had to admit that I really can’t take credit for it because I turned Chris loose and he did his thing. He really knows what he’s doing and it was such a load off my mind not to have to go through what Dick and I have always done together in past years.  I was so fortunate that Dick inherited his “green thumb” from his Mama B.  They could grow anything and have helped me to somewhat follow in their footsteps.

I gardened on our porch today in our porch boxes. It seemed, when I was planning what I would do, that it would not take long.  Boy, was I wrong.  Five boxes became a real project.  Honey and I went to Lowe's to get a few more plants. They don’t mind her being there; so I could take her with me.  She loves the ride in the car....... and then she rides in the cart as we do our thing in Lowe’s and makes a hit with the folks we encounter along the way because she is willing to greet, be talked to and be petted by doggy lovers as we go about finding whatever it is we went for.  Also, it’s funny that she always makes for smiles at traffic lights as she sits in her car seat, with her red bows and perky demeanor, taking in all her surroundings.

The day was in the 90’s and to make things worse, it was so humid that you could almost see droplets of water in the air!  This is somewhat of an exaggeration, but not much.  I was dripping wet with persperation, my clothes were soaked and I was thoroughly exhausted by the time I finished.  We keep the house cool and it was such a relief to finally finish and come back in for the night.  An interestng sidelight to my last comment about keeping our house cool..........  it brought back memories of when Dick’s brother T and sister N were teenagers and visited with us in Asheville, NC.  I can remember that they went home and told Dick’s folks that we kept our house cold enough to be a meat locker and they expected to find slabs of meat hanging from the ceiling!!

How neat it is to have a project erased from our “to do” list..............

I heard from a friend today about sensing caring people's feelings without hearing their words.  This struck a nerve with me.  One very simple example occurred several months after Dickie went away.   I was in a store waiting to check out and a business acquaintance who knew both of us well walked by and nodded "hello" as she headed for the front door; there was a nod, but neither one of us said a word (I guess the uncomfortableness of expressing concern for my loss was too hard for her).  I somehow knew what she was thinking, but didn't say.  It was awkward for me, too.  She didn't want to open my wound and I really didn't want her to; but, at the same time, I did want people to remember the special guy that Dick was.  

.........after she passed me and headed to the door,  I suddenly realized that she had turned and was heading back toward me.  She hugged me (even though we had really never been close before)........ there wasn't a word spoken, the heart-to-heart connection said everything that could  be said.  She was with me in my grief.  I have many memories of friends, relatives, neighbors and work associates who were so very, very kind (and vocal) and they will always be special to me because of their support........ and that they remembered the extra special person that Dickie has always been.  Both ways of communicating got through and meant the world to me.

My reason for writing this entry is because I don't believe that some folks fully understand that heart-to-heart feelings really do  "get through".....and maybe even moreso than words!  It is hard, and uncomfortable, for us to express our support for those who have lost important people in their lives.  This experience was very special to me and taught me a valuable lesson for living!

The day before yesterday, I awoke to the disturbing sound of what I thought to be "hammering."  Honey was upset and tried to help me find out where the sound was coming from,  what the reason was.......and WHO was responsible for it. We haven’t contracted with anybody to do work around the house, so it was a real puzzle.  It was disconcerting to find that a piliated woodpecker decided that there were tasty morsels in the frame over one of our windows in our lake room.  It wasn't hammering after all, it was an unwanted visitor doing his/her thing!  Noooottt good!   We went about out business during the day with intermittent distractions to open the window and encourage our feathered nemesis to go his/her way and leave us alone.  Thank goodness we were able to get our message across; our feathered visitor hasn’t been back again!  Also, it was good to know that he/her didn’t do damage!  I really hate to, but I plan to spray the small hole with a bug spray to discourage any further visits!  I can't help but wonder how in the world a bird.......big, little or whatever......can pound it's head into solid wood and come out unscathed???